Tea and Coffee
by Wacky Dragon
Summary: Filia likes tea. Zelgadiss likes coffee. Very different beverages, right? Well...what if the drinks were switched by a certain trickster priest? And what _subject_ is Filia touchy with? Please R&R to find out!


This is a short lil' fic ^_^ I was bored and this came up...  
  
  
Tea and Coffee  
  
"I'd like to have...this, this, this, this, and...this! Oh! And that one, too!" Lina pointed to various things on the menu. The wide-eyed waiter quickly wrote them all down.   
  
"Is that for you or is it for the whole group, ma'am?" the waiter asked.  
  
"Me," Lina answered happily. "Now what do you guys want?"  
  
"Same thing as her." Gourry answered just as happily.  
  
Amelia ordered fewer meals than Lina and Gourry.  
  
"One cup of black coffee." Zelgadiss said.  
  
"One cup of tea with cinnamon and sugar." Filia said.  
  
"Is that all for you both?" the waiter looked at Zel and Filia.  
  
They nodded in unison.  
  
"All right," the waiter looked relieved that not ALL the food would be gone from the kitchen. "Your drinks will be out very shortly."  
  
"Now, is that all you're going to order, Dragon-breath?" Xelloss asked as he phased next to her.  
  
"Yes, namagomi." Filia grumbled and scooted her chair away from him.  
  
"Oh, nothing to eat? Well, since you DO need to lose some weight, I understand." Xelloss remarked, cracking open one eye to see Filia's expression clearly.  
  
Filia turned bright red from anger. She whipped out her mace-sama in record time and slammed it against Xelloss, causing him to fly through the roof.  
  
Zelgadiss wiped bits of roof-pieces from his shoulders and hair and continued to wait patiently for his coffee. Zelgadiss moved his chair to the side and...  
  
Xelloss came flying down and crashed into the floor right next to Zelgadiss, where he had been sitting.  
  
"Itai..." Xelloss mumbled. "I found a subject she's touchy with."   
  
"Never touch the subject about weight with women," Zelgadiss remarked. "Or they will make you regret it---"   
  
"Namagomi! I'll never forgive you for saying that!!!!" Filia slammed her mace on his head twice in a row and stalked back to her seat.   
  
"---for the rest of your life." Zelgadiss finished.  
  
Xelloss sighed, white bandages appeared on his head.  
  
"Here's your tea," the waiter put down Filia's order. "And here's your coffee, sir." he put down the coffee.  
  
"Arigatou!" Filia thanked.  
  
Zelgadiss nodded his head silently in appreciation.  
  
Suddenly an idea popped in Xelloss's head, his lips turned into a mischievous smile.  
  
"Oh, Filia-san, are you sure you want to drink that? It has calories, you know, and you really have to watch the calories you consume!" Xelloss wagged a finger at her.  
  
Filia whipped out her mace.  
  
"Kuso anata (damn you)! Stupid NAMAGOMI!!" taking out mace-sama once again.  
  
Filia swung her mace. Xelloss teleported away, Filia missed and instead of hitting the mazoku, she hit...  
  
...Zelgadiss went flying across the room, breaking through tables and chairs along the way.  
  
^_^ Xelloss's expression. "Right on the mark, Filia-san! Arigatou!!"  
  
O_O; Filia's expression. "Oh...my...gods...oops..."  
  
O_o Amelia's expression. "Zelgadiss-san...............T_T "  
  
=O Gourry's expression. (fighting with Lina over drumstick)  
  
=O Lina's Expression. (too busy to care about Zel or the damage done, fighting with Gourry)  
  
"Zelgadiss-san, are you all right?! Gomen nasai!!!" Filia rushed over to the wall where Zelgadiss was plastered to.  
  
With quick hands, Xelloss switched the two cups of tea and coffee. Putting the coffee where Filia's tea was and putting the tea where Zelgadiss's coffee was. He phased out.  
  
"Damn, stupid mazoku," Zelgadiss grumbled as he slumped back in his chair, a white bandage on his head. "I'm going to KILL him." (does Zelgadiss joke? No.)  
  
"I'm sorry, Zelgadiss-san..." Filia said again, a sweat-drop ran down her head.   
  
Zelgadiss waved his hand carelessly, accepting her apology.   
  
Zelgadiss brought the 'coffee' to his lips...  
  
Filia brought the 'tea' to her lips...  
  
And...........  
  
.................  
  
Sip. Taste. And...   
  
"NANI?!!?!" Filia yelled, spitting out the coffee and wiping her mouth.  
  
Zelgadiss, on the other hand, was too sickened to yell out in surprise. He forcefully swallowed the sweet beverage and gagged, clutching his neck in digust.  
  
"Wh-what *gag* is...THIS *gag*?" Zelgadiss coughed, looking at the sweet beverage in bewilderment.  
  
Filia was too busy spitting and gulping down water, trying to get rid of the coffee taste in vain.  
  
Zelgadiss and Filia saw Xelloss laughing hysterically, floating above them. He was slightly curled up, clutching his stomach.  
  
"Oh, really, you two! You can be so very, very amusing!" Xelloss waved a camera at them. "It was a Kodak moment! What beautiful expressions you had!!!" he continued to laugh uncontrollably.  
  
A very large, red stress mark popped on both Zelgadiss's and Filia's heads, their eyes glowed red.  
  
"Don't ever---" Zelgadiss growled.  
  
"---mess with my---" Filia growled.  
  
"--coffee!!" Zelgadiss yelled.  
  
"--tea!!" Filia yelled.  
  
Xelloss was sent flying out the roof once again that day.  
  
"How can you drink that stuff, Zelgadiss-san? It's so bitter and..ugh..." Filia asked as she handed him back the coffee to it's rightful owner.  
  
"I was about to ask you same question, Filia," Zelgadiss answered as he gave her back the tea. "I don't see how you can drink something so digustingly sweet."  
  
"Hmph." Filia frowned.   
  
"Dragons always have a stong sweet tooth, rather sweet fang," Xelloss said as he phased into a chair next to Filia. "but really, Filia-san, you should watch what you eat. Calories, calories, calories!"   
  
Pop, pop, pop.   
  
Stress marks appeared on Filia's head one after another.  
  
"NAMAGOMI!!!!!!!"  
  
Filia whipped out her mace-sama..again..and attemped to make a third Xelloss-shaped hole in the ceiling that day.  
  
  
  
**Please review! And yes...this was a pointless story if you wanted to ask. ^_^; ) 


End file.
